We're like a lot better than the average bears
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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