It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize