this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize