But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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