He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize