Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Your cock deserves a montage
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize