Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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