Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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