i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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