is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
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fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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