I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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