I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
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It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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