do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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