i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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