okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize