Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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