i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize