The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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