then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
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Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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