Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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