I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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