No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
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i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
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Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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