I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The air was thick with penises
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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