handjob tips. give me some.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
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Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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