Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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