CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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