Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When are your genitals available?
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