Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have fence marks all over my body
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize