She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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