I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize