here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize