who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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