My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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