Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize