his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
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I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
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Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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