It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize