bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize