Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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