Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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