No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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