hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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