No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize