break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
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Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
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Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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