Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize