I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
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She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
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I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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