"it" just moved
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
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I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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