he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she peed on how many people?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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