I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
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You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
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third nipple confirmed
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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