i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
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If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
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It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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