Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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